1) You will have difficulty emptying your bowels when the toddler wanders into the lavatory uninvited and helpfully points out that you’re “having a poo poo on the big potty”.
2) You will appreciate the value of You Tube if you are looking after a sick child and the only thing that will keep them entertained is Peppa Pig cartoons (or similar).
3) When booking doctor’s appointments, you will learn that receptionists are much more helpful when they know you’re making an appointment for a young child.
4) Following on from the above, you should always be ultra-polite to both the doctor’s receptionist and the doctor themselves. Innoculations and minor childhood ailments mean you’re going to see a lot of these people and probably at short notice.
5) Travelling abroad? You’re going to need a much bigger suitcase.
6) Travelling abroad? Make sure you’ve got your European Health Insurance Card and travel insurance. You will appreciate this if your little ones need medical treatment.
7) In the earliest days you will find that absolutely everyone has an opinion on breastfeeding. The socially inept elements of society will force these opinions on you regardless of your own views and regardless of your family’s own experiences.
8) You are expected to get on with everyone that has children of a similar age. Goodness knows why, you wouldn't choose to mix with most of them.
9) You will begin to rate pubs not only on the quality of ale and wine on sale, but also on the quality of the high chairs and whether they sell Robinson’s Fruit Shoots. A bouncy castle in the beer garden gives any pub a stratospherically high “family friendly” rating.
10) Friends that aren’t married / in serious relationships and don’t have children will look at you blankly when you talk about your family and home life. It’s sad, but you will inevitably see less of these friends when you become a parent.
